Winter Has Arrived

It's been a few really cold days in England. Frosty mornings and some snow is actually resting on cars and bushes. Linda has been here, and we've had some lovely days. Watched my first rugby game live in Bath and suffered from frozen feet after that. And I got a killer cold coughing my lungs out, but hey, it's winter. Decided not to cycle to work, but will take the bus for another week of night shifts.

Linda commented on my layed back life style, consisting of occasional work and lots of tea drinking at coffee shops. What can I say, I enjoy my moments of rest... :)
Today is rich hot chocolate time at Rubicon Cafe/Chocolatier.

A recent subject circulating among people I know have been restlessness. For me as well, I can feel myself starting to get restless feet. It might be that I'm in a state where I'm getting fed up with work, but then at the same time I'm not sure time has come to move on. I've not even been here a year. I just notice that I start dreaming away, start looking for other options... maybe a dream is taking form. Sometimes I doubt I will ever settle down. I'm never satisfied and I dread the dullness of a life of routine. I want to live near fear, cause only then do I know comfort, I want to live facing death so that I know to appreciate life, and I want to live in the storm i order to know true peace. My cousin told me to live much, and I want to know what it is like to be fully alive.

But whatever I do, I would never want to head off alone. I need my companion and friend to go with me, or I'd be lost. So, until I feel time has come, I will stay in these tracks.

All Love

No Internet

I know I haven't been very good at updating my blog, and I blame lack of internet over the last month. My sister Rut was here visiting and it was super sweet. Spa, theatre, sister-talk under the duvet... I really missed her when she left.

Otherwise, for me, I am doing well. It feels like there are a few turns on the road at the moment, and like being on a rollercoster, I feel both excited and a bit nervous about what's ahead. It's getting to the end of November, I can't believe how fast time is going. My friend Linda is coming over to visit in a few days' time, then there is the Christmas party with work on the 2nd. And December 8th I will be on a plane back to Sweden, and I will be home for about 10 days. Looking forward to some catching up, frosty nights and saffron buns. I still haven't decided what to do over Christmas. I have a few options to ponder...

At the very moment I'm at work, doing a night shift. Can't wait til the morning when I can cycle home and cuddle up under my duvet.

All Love

Is that all you got? I'll take your best shot!

Today I'm inspired by P.O.D.'s single from 2002 - BOOM.

Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, here comes the boys from the South
Boom! Here comes the Boom!
Ready or not, How you like me now?

Is that all you got?
I'll take your best shot.
x6

Now, you may think, what's the reason for this?
Last weekend I was away in London. While I was away my new bicycle got stolen from outside our house. It didn't even last a week. I took the bus to work and when I met Julia she said she had bad news - my old bicycle had been stolen from outside their house. So both of my bicycles got stolen from different locations on the same weekend. It was a very tough day for me. That was Monday. Tuesday I felt somewhat better and the whole bicycle issue didn't disturb me that much. Wednesday I felt on top of the world. Well, I did before my manager called me into her office. We are dealing with a complaint at work and now I am involved. I had to come in early yesterday to get help with writing a statement. Today I have to come in for an investigation. Those are major issues that I have to deal with at the moment, there are many smaller problems that are too many to mention.

But will I crumble? No. I say to the evil one: Is that all you got?
He may try to destroy me emotionally, economically, take my belongings and my job. He may take my loved ones and take my health, but allthough everything may fall apart - I will still stand. I have only one rock, and that rock will not crumble. If everything is on fire, I will rise from the ashes.

Amen.



All Love

A Good Move

So I have moved houses, and I love living with other people. Coming home from a day's hard work, food ready and good company. Me and Susanna have meals together and have guitar sessions struggling through chords and strumming. James, who's in the room I will be moving into next week has been cooking for us today and served me tea while I was fixing my bicycle. It is worth the extra mile uphill, and the area is full of cute cafes and small shops. Today me, Julia and Maria went painting mugs at a small shop down the road. We will collect them next week, and then it's tea-time for real!

All Love

My new address:

First Floor Flat
21 Westfield Park
Bristol
BS6 6LX
UK

The Shame of My Country

Sunday night, I was working night shift at the hospital. One of my patiensts was unable to sleep and spent most of the night watching the news. At one point he told me they had announced the results from the Swedish election, and he gave me the results. For the first time since I moved to England I was ashamed of my country. The nationalist party, with deep roots in the nazi movement, has now made it into the parliament. I don't know what is worst, that they actually made it or that MY people actually voted for them - we wanted them there! Yesterday I read more about the party's immigration politics. They want to stop the immigration by 90% and would like to see all immigrants in Sweden going back to "their own countries". They want to refuse asylum seeking children to enter the country. Sweden should be Swedish and all other cultures should be banned. Muslims are not welcome. And I cried. It seems hearts are growing colder and compassion no longer dwells in people.

Ironically, the day that the Nationalist Party made it into the parliament, an 18 year old girl from Somalia stepped into our home in Sweden. Her name is Hamdi and she is our new sister. She is muslim, she does not speak Swedish and she is 8 months pregnant. We are so happy to have her, however complicated it makes our lives. I am looking forward to coming home to meet her!

All Love

Me and Jesus in Scotland

So, time for the big summary of my hike in Scotland. It will be a long one, because it was a week full of experiences. I packet my rucksack last Wednesday and flew over to Inverness in Scotland. There I enjoyed my first Haggis, Neeps and Tatties, and were able to spend the night at Callum's, a friend of Rachel's. He thought I'd be cold in my own sleeping bag, so he let me use his. Big thanks!

THURSDAY

I took the bus up to Durness, a small village located at the very north coast of Scotland. I asked the driver were there any cash machines in Durness. Course there is, was his reply. If you'd see Durness, you'll understand my question. I went to see Smoo Cave and some random small caves along the beach, then headed up my first small mountain. The climb was heavy, and I realised having a 20kg rucksack does not make the climb easier. Concerned that it was starting to get a bit late I was trying to find a spot where I could set up my tent, and I realised Scotland is wet - very wet. I finally found a fairly dry spot, set my tent up, cooked some food and fought the midges. I never realised exactly how bad the midges were, but as soon as I managed to escape into my tent, I did not want to get out again - so I went to sleep.

Smoo Cave

Another cave along the beach near Durness

  

FRIDAY

I woke up Friday morning, and very courageously thought to myself: Why, WHY, did I decide to do this? I just didn't want to get out of my sleeping bag, I had no motivation at all. Then, there was a small ball of orange light coming through the tent, and I knew there was a stunning sunrise out there. Before I knew what was happening I had put my trousers on, grabbed the camera, and gone out to capture it. It was beautiful. And the wind had increased, so there were no midges. I cooked some amazing porridge, with seeds and raisins (yum), packed my tent and my bag and took off. With help of my map and my compass I reached the top of the mountain, then headed down to walk across the moorland. I cleaned my first water, which tasted a bit sour, but not bad. Lunch consisted of a slice of rye bread, cheddar and some snacks. When I start walking, I will pause for maybe 10 minutes, then keep on trekking til I reach my destination. After some hours I reached the road, and walked along it for a while. My hips were hurting from the heavy load, and I was starting to get tired. Then a red car stopped and a man asked me if I would like a lift anywhere. I pondered for a moment, then told him it would be nice to get a lift just around the bend of the loch, because I planned to camp there over the night. He asked me where I was heading and I told him I was heading for Ben Hope (the mountain). He then offered to take me there, and though I hesitate for a moment I decided that it was a good offer and said yes. That meant I was a day ahead of schedule, but I felt that my own stubbornness should not hinder me from unplanned turns and opportunities. I could feel God agree and was pleased with my choice. The man, a 69 year old bloke named Alan, took me all around the area and showed me scenery too beautiful to describe and unfortunately not captured, as my camera was packed down in the back seat. Scotland is a very very beautiful place! Anyway, he dropped me off just at the foot of Ben Hope, I set my tent up, fought the midges (worse than anywhere else) and had a meal consisting of rice, beans and midges. Toilet issues are horrble being a girl! Though trying to be as quick as possible, going for a wee my knees were black from midges and I don't want to know what my bum looked like!  Midges in the tent weren't as bad, though they were many. They mainly sit in the roof of the tent and long to get out. Early night.

Sunrise over the sea

Alan, the man who took me on an amazing car ride

SATURDAY
This is my absolutely favourite day. Woke up, decided to take a cold breakfast IN the tent, in fear of midges. Finally went out, packed the tent down and started the trek up Ben Hope. It was a cloudy and rainy day, the top of the mountain covered in clouds, but since I hade to cross the mountain anyway, I thought I'd just as well go to the top. So I did. The climb was soo heavy, I had lots of people walking past me, but then, they were only doing a day trip, not carrying a 20 kg load. I made it to the top, no visability at all. Walked down the other way, trusting my compass and the map. Got some more drinking water, and while stopping realised the wet and muddy trail and all the rain had made my shoes go all wet. Continued to walk down over the moorland, giving me some amazing views once the visability came back. Snapped a few pics and had some chocolate. Looking at the map I noticed a small road further ahead and I felt that was what I should aim for. Walked along a stream and came to a place that made me stop and gasp. My first thought was Paradise. But it didn't seem quite right, and then I realised the place was an incarnation of my view of Psalm 23, The Lord is My Shepherd. The stream was bending around some corners and the current was not as strong as before. The grass growing there was a really lush green, and dwarf birches were hanging down over the water. It is hard to describe how beautiful and peaceful it was, but I could not make myself to take any pictures of it. Some memories are best kept in heart, and no picture would do that place justice. Anyway, I stopped for a moment, then decided to keep walking as it was starting to get late. All along I felt God urging me to watch my steps and keep walking for the road. After a while I could see the road, but discovered that the stream was cutting my way, and there was no way to get to the road unless I could manage to get across. I then realised I'd been following the wrong stream and NEEDED to get across in order to get to where I was heading for. That was when despair came crawling like a spider hovering over it's victim. The stream was violent and the other options were to walk all the way back to where I came from or continue up to the coast on the other side of Ben Hope. None were possible, as it was already 18:30. And I couldn't set up a tent on the moorland as it was too wet. What am I gonna do? kept repeating in my head, I felt panic come creeping and I called out to God don't he dare abandon me at this point. As I started walking back the way I had come panic and fear were replaced by a determination to get across that stream. I remembered the beautiful spot I walked past earlier and decided to head for that place. When I got there I realised that must be the best place to try and get across, I took shoes and socks off, rolled up my trousers, said a prayer and started making my way. Everyone who saw me on Hawaii knows my balance in water is absolutely rubbish, but thanks to some stones just below the surface I managed to get across fairly dry. On the other side I pondered if I should set my tent up there by the stream. It was a beautiful location, hardly any midges and dry ground under the grass. It made very much sense, but I felt God reminding me of that road. We had some sort of argumentation, but I gave in and decided to continue my trek. Adrenaline pumping, the rest of the walk seemed like 5 minutes. All along I felt like Jesus was there with me reminding me to watch my steps until I reached the road. I got to the road and saw a small bothy. A landrover was driving up in front of it, a man stepped out and asked me who I was and what I was doing there. I told him I was hiking from Ben Hope heading for Ben Loyal, and I asked him if I might set up a tent in the area. He said it was fine and I found a nice spot by the stream, set my tent up and started cooking my rice. I was just having my regular fight with the midges when a man walked across the stream with a plate in his hands. They were apparently having a big BBQ by the bothy and couldn't stand seeing me hovering over my little stove. He told me to finish the food and then come over for a drink. So I did. The salmon, the burger, the beef and the salad tasted amazing after walking for 9 hours. I ditched my rice and walked up to the bothy. They were a bunch of 14 guys spending a week in the area hunting and fishing. Most of them were from Belfast, and since I've spent 3 months in Belfast we immediately bonded. I had some cider and some wine, and had my very first oyster. Apparently some opf the guys were ridiculously rich. They all insisted I should stay in the bothy over night, they were all leaving at 22:00 (in reality 23:00), so I'd have the place to myself. I decided that would be nice and went and got my bag. The men were amazed it was the first time I did anything like this and proclaimed that if I were their daughter, they'd be damned proud of me. It warmed my heart, along with the wine and the fire. They left, and I got comfy in the sofa, bundled up with my sleeping bag in front of the fireplace and thanked God for one of the best surprises I've ever had. I think he knew all along what was awaiting by the road... It still makes me smile and I cannot stop thanking God for it.

Way down Ben Hope

Sleeping bag hung up to dry in front of fire

5 of the 14 guys I met at the bothy

 Me and the twins from Belfast

SUNDAY
All nigth, the wind was howling, and though I was safe in the bothy, I have to confess the wind gave me chills of discomfort. The morning came, and the wind and the rain were terrorising the landscape outside the windows. I was pleased to find my tent still standing by the stream further down, and eventually went out to take it down. I went back in, had some leftovers for breakfast and put more logs on the fire. The man looking after the bothy came back and told me I could stay in the bothy until the next day if I wished. I thanked him and had another snooze in front of the fire. At 14:00, I got restless and decided to continue my trek anyway. The rain had stopped although the wind was still strong. One of the first things on my route was to cross another stream. That one was a fierce one, turning into a forceful waterfall. I had no choice but to climb up the mountain on the wrong side, looking for a place to cross further up. Eventually I came to a place where the stream was wide and big stones were visible above the surface the whole way across. I took trousers, socks and shoes off and put it all in my rucksack. Using both hands moving from stone to stone, I managed to keep my balance and get across though the water was pulling at my legs. What a feeling of victory! I continued my trek and had an inner battle of where to go. The place I had planned to aim for, a flat space between the mountains, was being swapped for a route that would take me to the ridge of Ben Loyal. As I continued I told Jesus he'd better help me find a good place to camp, but after Saturday, I felt a completely different trust in having him as my walking companion. All along, I noticed possible places for camping, just in case I'd have to go back. There's my faith ;). As I got to the ridge (not a bad steep one) I started looking for a place to set up my tent. The wind was really strong, and the wind chill was horrible. I wondered how on earth I was gonna be able to set a tent up safely in that wind, but then I spotted a big rock on the middle of the ridge. Behind it there was shelter from the wind, and the grass was dry. I quickly put on my fleece and started putting my tent up. By the time I was done I was freezing, I didn't bother to cook anything, but quickly got changed and went down the sleeping bag. Had some bread and tried to regain some heat. All along the wind was pulling the tent and I was seriously scared the tent would come loose or get ripped. I said some prayers and asked God to be with me in the tent and keep me safe. I sent a text to my dad, saying I wouldn't mind their prayers for me that night. Eventually I go to sleep, but I keep waking up during the night, feeling uneasy and cold.

Reading Hobib Lyle in front of fire. Wind howling.

 Just crossed the stream. Yeah!

Heading for that ridge

MONDAY
I woke up Monday morning, noticing that it had calmed down a bit. I thanked God for keeping me safe, got dressed, watched the sun rise above the mountains and cooked myself some hot porridge. Oh how sweet the taste! I put on my wet socks and my wet shoes, packed my tent and started off. Happy to be half way up the mountain already I cheerfully ignored my sore heels and headed for the top. When I reached it I knew that was the final climb and played around for a bit. Looked for the path down Ben Loyal, but couldn't find it. Decided to do it Frida's way and took the compass out. Halfway down I saw another hiker and nearly shouted for him, happy to see another person. Decided not to, but realised he was walking a trail, and started heading for it. The journey to Tongue (a small village) was a pure enjoyment. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I knew my walk was coming to an end. I enjoyed the landscapes and kept singing as I walked. When I reached Tongue I decided a bed would be nice, and Jesus agreed. So, we checked in for a B&B, I took my wet shoes off, had a well-needed shower and put plasters on my blisters. Spent the evening watching telly, had some good conversations with God about love and life, and went to sleep early. I felt like a happy child.

The top of Ben Loyal

The higher up, the further down

Followed the trail to Tongue

Heading for shower

TUESDAY/WEDNESDAY
Woke up early, packed my rucksack and went down for breakfast. Oh how lovely the hot tea, the toast, the cereal and the fresh fruit tasted. I truly enjoyed it. Then headed off to the post bus that took me to Lairg. Then from Lairg to Inverness by train. I saw a glimpse of Loch Ness before I fell asleep. In Inverness I walked around barefeet, because I felt mean forcing my feet to endure those blisters. I met up with Callum again, I gave him his sleeping bag back and I spent the next day in a cafe in Inverness and in his house.

Thursday I flew back to Bristol. It has been amazing journey, and I'm not sure I'll ever do anything like it again!  :)

All Love

Inverness

Arrived at Inverness airport and it almost reminds me of my time in in Sundsvall, Sweden. The air, the pines, the stillness... Tomorrow I will take the bus to Durness to start off my hike. Excited! All Love